By Michelle Reina 

Co-founder, Reina, A Trust Building® Consultancy

Do you wish you had a better handle on trust? Everyone's saying you've got to have a high trust workplace. That you won't be an effective leader or build an effective team without it. Yet, what does trust actually mean, practically? And why is it so important?

10,000 people in 67 companies across 19 industries. That's how many executives, middle managers, and front line employees I talked with about workplace trust in the early stages of my research. Since then, I've talked with hundreds of thousands more.

When asked about trust in their workplaces, what do you suppose is the first thing people want to talk about?

• A time when trust has been broken.
• When they've felt let down.
• Disappointed.
• Screwed over.
• Betrayed.

Everyone has stories about broken trust - and a powerful need to share those stories before they can heal, let go, and get back to doing their best work.

So, what is there in this for you, your team, and for your business?

Three actionable insights:

1. People need high trust relationships.

You can train yourself to respond to breaches of trust in an emotionally intelligent way. You can take a step to develop that behavioral sophistication. And yet - remember...

You'll still be driven by your core, human need to know - without a doubt - that your colleagues and partners have your back.

Think about it.

What would happen if you stopped extending trust? What does survival mode look like for you? Consider how your work - your life - are impacted when your head is filled with questioning and doubt.

Will your colleague deliver his piece of the project as promised?

Will the email you sent for the third time be replied to?

Will your team member tell it to you straight when you ask her point of view?

Will your investor understand the mistake you made?

Without trust, you live in confusion and second-guessing. Performing at your lowest versus highest level. Getting by, rather than actualizing who you are and what you have to bring.

Trusting connections with other people are that important. They're non-negotiable.

2. Yet, trust gets stepped on every day

Those 10,000 people I talked with who felt compelled to talk about betrayal?

They weren't talking about big, headline-grabbing offenses. Things like embezzlement or disguised mass firings.

They pointed to seemingly little things that happen every day. Things like people being late to meetings. Failing to pass along critical information. Breaking promises. Telling partial truths. Gossiping. Violating confidences. Micromanaging one another to death.

Sound familiar?

Who among us hasn't experienced these behaviors? And, if we're being completely honest, who among us hasn't - unintentionally and perhaps even unconsciously - practiced one or more of them?

Ninety percent of the time trust gets broken, it's through the little things. Through 'business as usual' behaviors people practice with one another every single day.

People don't mean to step on trust. Yet, in the haste and pace of keeping up with constant change, they do - unintentionally. You do. I do. We all do.

Instances of broken trust are unavoidable outcomes of human relationships.

3. The cumulative impact adds up

Over time, if not surfaced and addressed, the impact of even minor trust breaking behaviors accumulate, creating damage to a relationship equivalent to a major betrayal of trust.

You don't have to rely on what I've observed talking to thousands of people.

Take stock of your own lived experience. Reference how you feel when people...

Consistently talk to others when they have an issue or concern about you...

Routinely fail to deliver on their promises...

Habitually make key decisions without asking for your input...

Are you impacted by these behaviors? Is your ability to bring your best forward compromised? Do you experience a mounting sense of frustration, disappointment, and let down?

I'd imagine you do. You want and need to do your best work. You can't do that if your working relationships aren't built on a solid foundation of trust. Work gets done through relationships and effective relationships are built on trust.

And - that's why people need to talk about broken trust. They can't work through what they have yet to acknowledge. There is no work around for betrayal.

Step into the pain and, with support, work it through.

Consider, are there conversations you need to have to rebuild trust and meet one of your core human needs?

Are there conversations your people need to have?

Trust in your company begins with you.

If you are keen and committed to leverage Trust and improve your organizations Leadership Effectiveness, Team effectiveness and bottom-line, click this link: Tell me more

or email us at [email protected]

Originally published on August 24, 2016 on INC.COM 

Renergetics Consulting has partnered with Dr Michelle and Dr. Dennis Reina, Reina, Your Trust Building Consultants.